Harry Connick, Jr - Silver Bells

I Pray On Christmas - Harry Connick Jr. (with Kim Burrell)

Toni Braxton - The Christmas Song

Chris Brown - This Christmas

Vegan Week 2

Just a quick post, while I listen to Mj's lastest 'Love Never Felt So Good'...this was an AWFUL week for me and food. I've not eaten alot of mess but I obviously made some really poor choices cause my face is broke out in a  rash and at two different moments my face actually was itching and I knew it was from something I ate but not sure what. What I do know is it was non-organic, sooooooo....I start another week over again with the food from home and try to stick to it.
I mean, it was graduation/baby shower weekend and there was cake! with buttercream frosting!!!! omg...I still have at least one more graduation party to attend but the thing is I HAVE TO learn to say 'no' when it's right there because I will be in the bathroom when I get home or I'll be itchy-faced. (face in my hands) this is NOT as easy for me as it is for others, like I thought it would be but...i'll let ya'll know how it goes next Sunday...peace and love, XOXO

Vegan week 1

Well, this was an interesting week to start because it began with the holiday of all summer holidays...MEMORIAL DAY! The holiday to began the barbecue season. I would always look forward to Memorial Day for that reason...make my absolutely DELICIOUS baked beans with pineapple rings, coffee (one year I used vanilla cause that was all I had and people still liked it - lol) and...bacon. Baked beans were a favorite of mine so it was a no-brainer that I would be the one to bring it to all the family cookouts. Every time I would cook the bacon, I would end up practically eating all of it, making sure I left some for the beans. I wasn't easy ;-). Last Memorial Day, I was new to this "vegan" thing so I cheated and ate a couple small ribs (Mom always cut them) and one or two brats. Brats are my ABSOLUTE favorite grilled meat so last summer was rough, but rougher on my intestines. I could eat one earlier that day - afternoon - and by the time I was gettin in the bed, it was still there knockin on my stomach or at the least my intestinal tract, somewhere. The last straw, was when I ate some grilled meat - most likely at the Parents' - it was sittin on my stomach at bedtime, when I woke up, all day, and at bedtime again. I think that meat sat on my stomach for THREE WHOLE DAYS! I had gas that had an odor that was killin my whole family! OMG! It was awful. That was the end of our relationship - me and meat. So, this Memorial Day it was only a brief spark of that old feeling when I smelled them babies grillin and when my Dad brought 'em in. Mmm-mm. Then, old memories "flood my mind" and I had no problem findin something else to eat - I'd brought my own lettuces, tomatoes, and dressing. The second part of my struggle with food on any holiday, at anyone's house - including my own - is breads. On Memorial Day, I ended up eating 2 biscuits and 3 cookies; none of which were vegan. Desserts are tough to ignore at my parents' because my Mom is GREAT baker. And I do usually end up with my face broke out by the time I get home, but it's worth it cause I don't eat much of whatever she made and I don't go back for seconds - I've trained myself. Since, the holidays are mostly about family and having fun, I still had an enjoyable Memorial Day.

Another addiction of mine is chips. I truly, truly, TRULY love a bag of plain Ruffles, or blue corn tortilla chips by Garden of Eatin, or some pita chips, or Kettle flavored Popcorners...sometimes it's the crunch, sometimes it's the potato and salty; but as I paid more attention to how I'm feelin when I have these craving, I realize that I crave these when I'm anxious, worried or nervous - and that's what some books say too, right? I run into this problem usually AFTER work and only occasionally during the work day. Now, that I'm talkin about work, lemme tell ya...I work at such an awesome place, and lunch is never an issue there'son Tuesday, I had 3 bagels and on the way home cheerful about havin a couple dollars bought a bag of chips and ate majority of the bag.

always really good stuff available...jus not much vegan and definitely NOT ORGANIC. I've been there almost a year so I make due. I just about gained all my weight back - I was 126lbs - I'm teetering between that and 130lbs! I don't like it. The big issue at work is when I get sleepy. When that happens I get up and walk around and end up in the kitchen where someone has brought: Krispy Kreme, or bagels, or homemade bread, or some homemade sweet goodie...and I have one and back to my desk. But depending on what time THAT was I was eventually back in there havin a small piece of something else. Small pieces add up, thus my weight fluctuates. Good thing I was making this change on a short work week cause at work

Keeping my goal in mind, I did a little better at work the next day, having 1 Krispy Kreme doughnut, 1/2 a plain bagel and at home the few chips left in the bag by my kids. And my Thursday, no bread or chips jus those crispy things for salads - on my salad that I had seconds on (it was a great salad!)

I'm not being had on myself anymore but this is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE which is why I can't be too easy either - I've been at this a year. I'm embarrassed to mention the workout I was trying for 7 days...I couldn't even make the 7 days because I was so sore after 2!!! Humiliating. My muscles from the crotch down were so sore I had to focus to not walk like I'd jus had a night of rough sex...so embarrassing.  Anyway, so far today, I've had 1 piece of whole wheat toast (I'm out of vegan butter so it was naked toast) and an average cereal bowl of blue corn tortilla chips.

I'll be starting my butt challenge over again, I should be able to make it a whole week so we'll see how it turns out.

                          "LET FOOD BY THY MEDICINE"

Time to Get Started

This is gonna seem crazy practically in the middle of the year, but I'm beginning MY challenge. I have spent the last year buying, trying, tasting all manner of things - vegan, organic and otherwise - calling myself "vegan". I've taken note on what broke my face out, what made me itch, what still upset my stomach - nauseous, vomit, diarrhea, etc - and I think it's time to get serious and focused about my vegan and organic lifestyle. Now, I will admit that as far as clothing, here in my city there's not much in the way of affordable, organic and MY style so I'll make due, but I have been to enough places, seen enough on the web and talked to enough people to know what direction I want to continue on.
I've cut my hair, for what I'd like to say "the last time" for a year, today was my last non-organic, non-GMO dessert (at the church dinner - it's hard to say 'no' to a church dinner) and meal at the Parents' (spaghetti is my fav) and I have a book I'm doing focused reading (Clean by Dr.Alejandro Junger www.cleanprogram.com), I now have a blog (no one is reading) to use for my "accountability". I intend to write something out, because I can't blog everyday as I don't have Internet at home so I will make a point to blog my week on the weekend. I will also be including whatever fitness challenge I would be working on that week. No one would include me in their fitness challenge because I only weigh 126 lbs at 5'3", but I could use some firming up, y'know
Some people do well challenging themselves to complete certain projects, but it's all to a specific end. None of this is to any particular END except my life. If I don't get this together and stay focused on taking better care of myself I'm risking my one transplanted kidney in a very serious way. I'm risking any good feeling I've had during this last year collecting this info, trying these foods and eating the organic I can afford; and if anyone has EVER had a morning of getting up without pain, have a clear mind/thinking and just lovin the day when they normally have pain and fogginess then they know how good it is to feel good...medication can't maintain that.
Let's begin: I weigh 126 lbs (for some, that's not heavy for me that 4 lbs of what I should NOT have been eating in the last few months), I haven't worked out consistently in months (thus the 4 lbs), my labs look pretty good because my PTH was high (I don't like that). I'm 5' 3" and 42 yrs old. I became vegan because I paid attention to the food that upset my system and ended up with a vegan diet. I've got a couple of vegan/vegetarian cookbooks, raw vegans I follow on YT and a family who supports me - they are not trying to be vegan, but they support me :-)
I love where I am in my life - maybe along the way i'll post some past things that have made me, me - and I'm very interesting in going where ever God wants me to go, how ever, when ever. So, we can have a discussion about things, or not; you can go with me, or not...lemme know :-)

Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake - Love Never Felt So Good

I'm stugglin...

My daughter has graduated high school...
...given birth to my first grandchild
...married a guy she's been dating for 2 years and known since 7th grade...
but, I'm STILL struggling.

Since she started dating him I've struggled with her choosing him over time with me. And it's stupid because it wasn't like our household was full of activity - friends visiting/calling, fun things going on every weekend, etc., so I understood a teens want to hang with other people. I mean, I WAS a teenager at one time. And I know, I her Mom but as a female who had been hurt by teenage boys, who had been hurt by grown men, who felt - for a very long time - God was punishing with loneliness and illness...I was struggling. My struggle is so selfish and I know it. I am a single mother with only 2 kids and my youngest...my ONLY daughter WANTS to leave me!

Whew, I said it!!!

I finally have been able to put my true feelings out there - sorta.

As a mom you want your kids to find a good someone. Now, realistically, how do WE know who is really good for our children? We don't. Really control-freakish type parents try to choose a good someone for their children but, they end up upsetting their children and their relationship. Even some Faith-filled parents believe their Higher Power will do as THEY want and choose "a good someone" for their children, so what I do TRUST is that my Faith has found "a good someone" for my daughter.
Sure things can happen - he has a temper and I don't know if he's ever hit her - but, I pray that my daughter will hold on to who she is and have a "line" of how much she'll tolerate.

I struggled to hold my tongue about the negative things I went through with men so that I wouldn't scar her with my poor, spineless actions of youth and at the same time making sure she falls in love with her eyes wide open, willing to admit  - if only to herself - when she's made a poor decision and never forget to stay prayerful and willin' to pull up her 'big girl panties' and say "I was wrong" or "I'm sorry".

I know this blog is all over the place but, I have so many thoughts going through my mind...

...anyway, my biggest struggling is holding my tongue. I've watched all the silly talk shows with the big mouth mothers yelling at their kids and their potential spouses I didn't want to be like that. My own Mother, has made a point to ALWAYS voice her opinion about our choices. Pointing out things we knew but didn't want to face. So I would "point out" things to my daughter but, she enlightened me to the fact that I seemed to always have something negative to say about him. That wasn't what I was TRYING to do. So, I tried harder to keep my opinions to myself and wait for her to talk to me. She did at times, those times were few, and I slowly began to lose my daughter to this teenage boy who thought he was already a man (subject for another post).

She told me today that she and the baby are going to visit him - in California - next month...even though he'll be home in May to pick them up and take them away for good...I am seriously strugglin'...

Pharrell Williams - Happy (Official Music Video)

Ronald Isley - My Favorite Thing ft. Kem