Why torture yourself?

I realized today that no matter what, someone is going to have something to say about you. The difference is...you don't have to accept it. Maybe not everyone has had a problem with bullying or being teased but, for those who have it can be more than hurtful. Watching Dr. Oz today there were young women struggling with anorexia nervosa and a one who was actually dealing with the belief that she was "disgusting." I thought about when I was in school and someone chose to call me ugly. That stuck with me for a long time. Looking at that one girl, thinking about others that I've talked to about self esteem made me realize that although I could encourage and uplift females but, I still was unable to uplift myself. It wasn't until after I gave birth to my second child that I even LIKED the person I saw in the mirror. I didn't want my daughter to have low self esteem. I refused to let her go to school feeling she was less than anyone else. I wanted her to believe she could do anything. These were the same things I was telling other little girls, my friends, and anyone who talked about failing or feeling less than.
Honestly, we are not going to stop little kids from teasing or bullying. What we CAN do is continue to uplift children we're around. When we're can be sure the child will know we're playing (by hugging and laughing with them) it's ok to tease. But we should pay attention when a child feel struck buy what you said. Have some empathy. So what, you were teased as a child and no one was there to lift you up, does the child you are hurting have anything to do with that? Do you realize that it is obvious that you haven't gotten over what was said to you?
Being labeled 'ugly' stayed with me for a long time. It's not about who said it, it's about what I thought about me. Yes, there were adults who would randomly tell me that I was 'cute', 'pretty', and one wonderful lady would often tell me that I was 'beautiful' but, no one my age could seem to tell me that, and at the time THAT is what mattered most. My mother assured me that I was not 'ugly' but I felt it was her job as a mom to tell me that. And it was her job, but I just couldn't BELIEVE it because it mattered so much to me what others said. That is the real problem. I needed a peer to help me with my self-worth.

It's important that we assure our child that their self-worth is more than how the world sees them. They are worth something because they exist. We, as adults, must know our own worth, it is more than our jobs. Self-worth is what you mean to yourself. Look in the mirror...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!