My dream job to pay bills...

I've got my dream job...working in the medical field and doing paperwork (yeah, I'm alittle weird like that), I feel like I have my dream job...but explain to me why I can't make more money doing what I enjoy? And it's mind-boggling to me b/c ppl look down on working fast food when in reality if we look at some of our checks and the bills we have to pay then look at someone working fast-food and their bills, we're possibly in the same boat. My "benefit" is that a boatload of my check goes to that great medical insurance I HAVE TO HAVE. Because I have been diagnosed with lupus and have a transplanted kidney, I am glad to have medical insurance helping me with all the continuous bills I have for one visit or lab draw or another. But for Heaven's sake...!!!! I CAN'T AFFORD NOT ANOTHER BLESS-ED THING!!!! My car is 5yrs old and needs tires, new brakes, an alignment and who knows what else! Then my school loans are callin...broke down to the bare minimum, I'll be payin these stupid things off well into my 90s. I use to take a few dollars and enjoy myself by goin to a movie with my kids, then they collected some friends so I would go by myself. Then I had to trim down to enjoying my time with a nice/special meal or dessert and a movie at home (from my own collection). Then, do to allergies, I decided to spend my monies on organic foods/household necessities. Now...I don't know what I'll do. I don't have Internet at home, only pay for my own cell, reduced the amount of organics I get for 2wks...but the bill for labs (the part med insurance doesn't cover) is here and plates for the car are due...but i gotta figure out how much for maybe jus two tires before winter but i really need the brakes and the alignment taken care of...sigh. 

Then, I think about it and I'm always able to make it. Technically, this $$$ thang is an issue every payday BUT I don't feel like this every time b/c I remember I was blessed to have my dream job, blessed with my health, blessed with the little that I have and I'm comfortable with it. I've been blessed, over and over and over again, there's so much mess goin on in the world but MY world is feelin fine...and I roll on.

Frustration is a part of being HUMAN as is self-awareness. Right now, myself is aware of being quite frustrated with my many blessing, but I can smile b/c I am also aware of a time when I didn't have a car/medical insurance/dream job or the opportunity to have b/c I made even less $$$. 

                  "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." - Carl Jung

Bilal - Open Up The Door [DOWNLOAD LINK]

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